Related Events(Latest entry first)
I recently returned from the Greek health resort, where I stayed for five days in the hotel. This date's picture session was made two days after homecoming. For those who are interested, this is the place on Google Maps:
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Zoom out to see its location within Greece. The building complex at the edge of the lake at bottom right is the health resort and the adjoining hotel, where I stayed.
The lake is uniformly shallow, you can walk all the way to the other side if you so desire. The water is about ten centimetres high, but the clay (not your regular mud) is soft and you sink in till your knees. Late in the summer the water dries up, and people told me the dried clay hurts even more on the skin. A special sight are the flamingoes which live there.
The object of the cure is to wade a small distance into the lake, rub yourself all over with the clay, and then stay submerged in the water to get the minerals to work on your skin. 20 minutes is fine, but you can stay however long you like. The clay and the water are very salty and it really sets your skin on fire, especially if you have wounds. Next, you rub yourself in again all over, head to toe, and exit the water. I always took a handful of clay with me to reapply on my legs, which got washed clean by walking in the water. I also checked myself in a mirror next to the showers to see if I had missed any spots. And then you just wait.
When the weather is agreeable, it is hardly a punishment to lounge around on the field. There frequently were other bathers present for sociable talk (a favourite Greek pasttime). If you both have psoriasis, a conversation is easily made. But more often than not, I was alone, which allowed me to walk around naked. When your covered in mud, the activities you can do are rather limited (holding a book or sitting down are bad ideas!). I solved this by playing on my recently acquired flute, a ney. This is was I looked like:
This is how I passed my time. I must say it was an enjoyable stay and an interesting experience. The hotel would officialy open the next months, so I was basically the only guest most of the time (but a lot of people visited the health centre as a day trip). This resulted in me getting a VIP treatment from the personnel! But all is not rosy, there was a load of unattended maintenance, the local insects had me for breakfast, lunch and dinner at times and when the wind came from a particular direction, a crazy gale ensued. I tell you, when that happens, standing around naked on a field is definitely not fun.
And the result? Compare the last two pictures sessions, one taken just before the visit and one taken just after. Conclusion: nope, no improvement. The psoriasis looked all nice and polished up on departure, but two days later it had returned with a vengeance. The employees at the resort all clamoured that a five day visit was way too short, that could be. I'm om the sceptical side of the scale. On homecoming, I returned to my tried and tested therapies, namely a low-carb diet and application of grease. The results are better already; no need to go to Greece for this.
With this posting, I added a new series for my navel.
Now is just about the right time to make a new picture series, for two good reasons. First, my supply of freeze-dried horsemilk just finished. To be honest, I'm less enthused by this this stuff than the frozen horsemilk I tried previously. The powdery stuff is less tasty, does not dissolve easily into water and according to me has a great deal less effect than the frozen stuff. When I'm able, I'll drive to the horsefarm and get a new box of the frozen horsemilk. In case you're interested, they have an open house on may 23. I won't be able to attend, unfortunately, for the reason given in the next paragraph.
The other reason for making new pictures is that I'm going to a Greek health resort next week, a place with thermal springs and beneficial mud, loaded with all kinds of goodie minerals which are good for your skin. Pso, or ψωριάσεις in Greek is named explicitly on the website as a curable affliction, my curiosity is greatly aroused. I will be there for almost a week and am really looking forward to wallowing around in the mud twice a day like a pig. Even better, to walk outside smeared in from head to toe with the dark stuff, and somehow acting normal (see bottom-most picture on the website). For the rest, I'm just going to relaaaax, slow down and just do some calm fun stuff. For me, this translates to making music, reading, jogging and yoga. Sounds to me like the perfect activities to combine with some serious mud-wallowing!
And the psoriasis was exceedingly bad this last month or two, I'm a walking snowstorm. There's a new pso-spot which has steadily grown, my navel. It might be time to start a new seqeuence for this particular spot. This navel is totally unappetizing, see picture:
I see a probably relation with the deadline I've been working against recently. Under stressful circumstances, I go over the top with food, drinking (coffee especially) and smoking. And lack of sleep of cource, all these items are recurring themes in my pso-commentary. Anyway, I'll be going for a reset now and after that I will review the situation. In two weeks I'll be back from the mudfest, I'm gleefully anticipating the gory mud-pictures that will be taken of me.
I completed the horsemilk cure (see previous entry), so it's time to make a new picture session. In the meantime I ordered a new batch of horsemilk products from the website of the horse milkery. The packets of frozen horsemilk were quite agreeable, now I'm going to try out the freeze-dried horsemilk powder.
As you can see in the pictures, the difference in the pso-spots is dramatic. The last few days I was worrying about the worsening state of the spots, but when I compare to the previous pictures of about a month ago, I see a world of difference, especially on the arms! So is horsemilk the wonder cure? The farm keeper had warned me beforehand that it does not work on everybody, perhaps I'm one of the lucky ones.
The only other cause of this improvement that I can think of, is quitting smoking. I can test this hypothesis soon because COUGHIstartedsmokingagainCOUGH. There was a reason for this, I had some quite stressful experiences recently and I could not resist any longer.....Of course, the stress itself may have an effect as well.
In any case, I will continue with what I am doing right now, to see if I can confirm the influence of smoking on my psoriasis. If that is the case I will demote myself to the dubious title of World-Class Idiot because I persevered so foolhardily all these years, with smoking that is. And then I'll really do something about it.
Today's foto-shoot was actually in anticipation of a promising new anti-pso diet I found at howtobeatpsoriasis.com. Usually I disregard this kind of loud, screamy sites that are clearly targetted at gullible web-users. This site, however, I found to be sympathetic, since the owner ask for a contribution, not an amount beforehand. I decided to write to him, using pictures of this site as proof of my psoriasis.
The response consisted of a diet tracking program within a spreadsheet and embedded instructions..... look, I'm a pretty disciplined person and damn good at maintaining lists of whatever takes my fancy, but by golly this diet program is spartan. I kept it up for two days and then admitted that even I could not follow it.
My life-companion recently met and spoke with another psoriasis sufferer, and got an interesting tip: horsemilk. She swears that it got rid of her psoriasis in six weeks time (that and a change of occupation). I'm taking this tip seriously and got googling; it turns out that this horsemilk farm is within reasonable driving distance of my residence. Quite spontaneously, I jumped in the car and drove there, without calling in advance, and spent some time fidgeting at the front door because the bell didn't work. While I was giving them a call using my mobile phone, the farmer himself, a big guy with a genuine farmer's beard, clunked around the corner on his clogs.
As soon as I mentioned my psoriasis, I was welcomed heartily and taken inside, where I got an interesting lecture on the benefits of horsemilk. It turned out that most of their products can be ordered online, which I should have been able to verify beforehand. The only thing that has to bought on location is the freezed-in horsemilk. Since I was here anyway, that's what I bought. We went to pick it up at the stable, so I got a chance to see the milk-horses as well. I left quite soon after paying, a friendly and rewarding experience richer.
What I got was a box containing 28 plastic bags of freezed horsemilk, which look like this:
A single packet like this is one daily dose, so the whole box should last me a month. I loaded the packets in the big freezer at home, and before going to bed I took one out for the following morning. The next day I started the cure. The milk tastes sweeter and fuller than regular cow's milk, I had to help myself to overcome the thought that I was drinking mother's milk. But this is doable. When I'm done with the whole box, I'll report the results.
As expected, most spots got worse. I'm 'snowing' again; I'm sort of wondering if a business model could be set up to sell these excessive skin fragment. I'm a major producer, I could get rich....
Now I'm suddenly getting a rash of little red spots all over my body, a recent development. Red dots on my feet, ankles, arms, face too :-(. Little red spots everywhere:
Looks like psoriasis guttata to me, I've had this kind of spots before but never in such large numbers. In fact, this development is scary and calls for drastic measures. So now I shall play my trump card....
I quit smoking!
Again, I'm obliged to add. I'm getting quite good with the stopping, now if I could just stop starting smoking again, everything would look peachy. But I'm really motivated to quit right now, I think I have a good reason. Unfortunately, I don't feel too healthy at the moment. I'm still coughing and choking as if I'm still smoking. It's sort of demotivating. I remember the previous quit-effort, I was brimming with boundless energy and felt light-headed, presumably due to the increased uptake of oxygen in my brain. Alas, this direct positive feedback is missing at the moment. I just feel plain unhealthy But I'm really motivated to quit right now, I think I have a good reason. Unfortunately, I don't feel too healthy at the moment. I'm still coughing and choking as if I'm still smoking. It's sort of demotivating. I remember the previous quit-effort, I was brimming with boundless energy and felt light-headed, presumably due to the increased uptake of oxygen in my brain. Alas, this direct positive feedback is missing at the moment. I just feel plain unhealthy.
With respect to low-carb dieting, let's just relax that for a while, ok? I feel justified in compensating for the absence of cigarettes, which translates mainly to a massive increase in chocolate consumption. Actually, I don't feel too happy at the moment....the worsening of the psoriasis is definitely having a psychological effect on me. I have only one remedy at the moment and that is simply to do something. It doesn't matter what, as long as it's creative and advances my cause. For that reason, this blog entry came into existence, high time I wrote something again.
I was not too happy about the previous photoshoot, and I had resolved to make a new one. That became the addition for today. On closer inspection the quality of the previous shoot was passable; some pictures are hazy but most of them are okay, so I added those as well.
De main reason for today's sequence is that my pso spots are worsening steadily again, especially on my head. Probably something to do with the changing of the seasons. My skin was so nice and smooth lately, I wanted to record it before I start 'snowing' again.
In general I'm doing quite well, except for my nails which are manifesting strange, ugly spots underneath:
It looks like my nails are letting go, they also feel brittle and are prone to breaking. Also, the tips of my fingers kind of hurt. I don't know how those spots got there, but I of course attribute them to the psoriasis. I intend to treat my fingernails with care, and I'll try not to worry too much about them. If anybody has good tips, please let me know, I would really like to hear from you.
I'm still using the grease with good results. It smells kind of funny but I don't really care. If it helps I am happy to use it. I haven't tried anything else in the meantime, apart from adjusting my eating habits. I'm a regular reader of the blog of Tim Ferris. Recently, I discoverd an old article of his about low-carbohydrate diets. Thankfully, I don't really need it. My subcutaneous fat ratio is actually quite low, on par with athletes. My problem is the excessive amount of internal fat in my abdomen region, which is very hard to get rid of, slowly if at all. Admittedly, it is not really a problem, but Tim's diet appeals to me, especially because I could basically eat what I want as long as I stick to a couple of basic rules. A month's worth of this diet should be doable.
Naturally, I'm wondering what for effect this diet would have on the psoriasis. With a bit of luck, it might even have positive effects. But for example, pork meat is allowed here, other pso-diets forbid it. We'll see what the result is.
How things can change in a short period; I was 'entrepreneuring' for barely a week at home, when I was called by a former client. To do more of the same work basically, with the significant change that I will now be working from my own company. What a difference that makes! I can appreciate the freedom to spend my time as I want to, it balances effortlessly against the increased sense of duty.
My mother came to visit us last weekend. She is very concerned about my psoriasis and is always on the lookout for remedies. This time, she handed me a salve to try out. After a few days, incredibly, there was a notable difference in my pso spots, not only a lot better but the skin flakes actually disappeared by daily application and the sking almost looks NORMAL! And what may this salve be, you might ask? Well:
The kind of stuff you apply to the engine of your car, which sells for about 5 euro per kilo. And it works like a charm. It smells unappetizing and feels kinda soggy, but I don't care, it works!. End of story. No more expensive pharmaceutical garbage, the dermatologist just lost a customer. Obviously, the effect is cosmetic, I have to look elsewhere for fixing the cause of the psoriasis.
At long last I can be proud of my buttocks :-). On the other hand, my fingernails are in a sorry state. They look like they have nicotine stains under the nails. I also have some weird, itchy spots on my feet, on my soles as well:
Due to the persistent itch, I walk around barefooted as much as possible.
On the whole, it's tremendous progress, this really makes me happy! There are probably more factors contributing besides the grease, because I'm feeling quite content recently. Maybe the budding entrepreneurship weighs in, or the tango lessons I started recently play a part, my work which isn't annoying any more, singing...whatever it is, I'll just keep on doing it.
I made a picture session for the Pso-log on the camping in Italy, at the start of our vacation. I expect to hang around here for two weeks or more, wearing a minimal amount of clothing under a bright Mediterranean sun. Surely, it is reasonable to expect that this will bring improvement. Add to that the resolutions that I will eat healthy foods only, sport to my heart's content (jogging and yoga) and strictly ration my smoke intake (in which I succeeded nicely, maximum of six smokes a day). Something good must result that!
My spots were improving already, getting smaller but the crusts where thick, and since they don't tan in the sun they really began to stand out on my progressively deeper tanned body. Through trial and error I discovered that keeping the skin wet (swimming pool!) was a good idea, this camouflaged the white spots nicely. On other hand hand, having obvious pso-spots wasn't really a problem; in fact it became a nice opener for conversations. This resulted in meeting two other psoriasis-sufferers on the camping, and it was great to hear how they coped with it. That is so motivational, it's easy to fall in the trap of thinking you're the only one. It's nice to be rewarded like this by behaving casually about your skin affliction.
With respect to remedies, I now make valeriana tea only when I feel like it. Keep in mind that it is also used as a sopoforic. When I told mother about the alleged curative properties of valeriana, she sent me a bundle of the stuff, not capsules but an actual bundle of dried twigs (or roots or whatever it is). The intent is to make tea out of it, which I did. Experimentation relevealed that the cat loved the stuff and rapidly chewed away any bits I held before his nose. Thus the reputation of valeriana, usually called catnip, has been convincingly verified.
Because of the encouraging experience with the swimming pool, I switched to hydrating creams, which I faithfully apply to my skin daily after showering. It appears to work, cosmetically at least. I observe that I'm not 'snowing' at the moment, at least not as much as a couple of months ago. As an added bonus I also smell pleasantly!
But the pso has not disappeared after the vacation, even though it did get better somewhat. Too bad, I guess I was expecting some kind of miracle. It doesn't matter too much, I can handle the psoriasis much better now. On returning home I am rid of one employer and can jump headlong into my own entrepreneurship, the start of a new life-phase.
I haven't made a photo-shoot for three months now and I regret it; some pso-spots have worsened significantly.... especially my arms and my poor buttocks. It gives me a lump in my throat thinking about it. But things are as they are, I will have to accept it. I practised salsa just now with my life-companion and that helped my mood, I'm still sweating while writing this.
Dancing is one of the things that I have neglected this winter, as I did sporting in general. And yes, I still smoke, at times a lot, which in my case translates to half a packet a day. But spring is coming, today giving us a peek of the good weather to come. So soon I can subject my poor, miserable skin to a healthy dose of sunlight again.
I stopped with my last experiment, the udder cream. It feels and smells wonderful, but it doesn't heal anything. As a substitute, I bought a big pot of 'traditional hand cream' and tried that. No improvement at all and the smell is worse than that of the udder cream. I'm going to stop it real soon. Walnuts were another small experiment, which I picked up in a pso-forum. Six walnuts a day would be beneficial for the pso. I tried that as well and I find them quite delicious, but no results.
Today, I'm starting with valeriana capsules, which is the reason why I'm adding a new picture sequence today. The sorry state of my psoriasis (I'm a walking snowstorm) has been noted at office today. Yesterday, a colleague offered to ask his son, a barber, for a remedy against dandruff, which was the trigger to tell about the psoriasis. He came back on it today and told about the valeriana. According to his son, psoriasis is a 'manifestation of stress of the skin, in which the skin dies before it lets go'. My perception is that the skin is growing too fast to die before it lets go, but this may amount to the same thing. In any case, the barber son vouches for its effectiveness because it worked well on his customers. I'm always game for a new pso-experiment so immediately after this discussion I went to a health store to buy the capsules.
So what is this stuff anyway? Turns out it's just catnip, which just begs to try it out on our cat. It's supposed to be calming and is used for inducing sleep, which sounds good to me because I'm an avid sleeplessness practioner. The instructions warn me not to drive after intake, making me wonder how strong this stuff actually is. So I popped a capsule right away to try it out. Till now no strange side-effects, so it's probably OK.
And it counteracts smoking! At least that is what the pamphlet says. Fine with me, I'll try it out for a month and see what happens.
Suddenly the pso is improving, I have no explanation for it. On a day just before Christmas, I look at my elbows and see that the red spots have significantly decreased in thickness and that they sport less flakes. Can you tell me why? I would love to know. I'm somewhat bemused by this, I had a bad period since my previous writing where my skin was cracking painfully. All of a sudden, the deep wounds on my knuckles due to the tearing of the pso spots which refused to heal, look healthy again, just a small scar instead of a cratered moonscape. Really, I'm flabbergasted.
Other spots have not reduced with respect to surface area, but something has changed there as well. Take a look at my knees, for example, they turned white like grained rice, and sort of have the same texture. They have become all the more obvious, of course, but perhaps this is an intermediate step towards full recovery? This is me hoping.
So, let me reflect what changed in the meantime.....I'm working out of town at the moment, so there is much less possibility of sporting. In addition, dancing lessons are over, so there is much less physical activity in general. Perhaps sport in any sense is a form of stress for your body, could it be so?
Continuing, I spend about two hours per workday commuting by train, which I do not find at all bothersome; I read a book, stare lazily out of the window, take a nap.....an interval without responsibilies, which for a nervaholic like me could be an important experience. Compulsory relaxation.
Small stuff: the daily spread of udder cream and the kardamom. But I really don't think that has any effect. The former just feels nice and the latter has been praised as a wonderous cure online, of which I'm dubious. I haven't taken kardamom daily anyway. And an other weird thought: I recently lost my USB stick containing my diary, three years of my life intimately described are lying somewhere in a public place waiting to be read or wiped out by a passer-by. After the tear-brimmed denial of the situation came the acceptance and also the determination not to write any diary ever again. In other words, the responsibility to keep up the diary has fallen away. Long shot, isn't it?
The most probable cause is the visit I paid to my uncle and aunt in Rotterdam, where I stayed the weekend. These people have a healthy lifestyle, so lighting up a cigarette is out of the question (interestingly, the need for one doesn't arise), and my coffee consumption is irregularly low. Taking the train trip into account, I only lit up four cigarettes and consumed as many cups of coffee, inconceivable by my standards.
This could be the cause, of course, but even so the rapid onset of recovery suprises me. On Christmas Day I ran out of smokes en hesitantly grabbed the opportunity to quit again. This was by no means a fullhearted decision, my darling had to incessantly cheer me on, threaten me, laud me, blackmail me and barricade the door. It worked, two whole days without nicotine and today, Christmas just behind us, I didn't buy new tobacco, even though I did 'borrow' one. Three days, one smoke, usually I finish a whole packet in that time. I'm heading in the right direction. If I can keep it up my skin will be spotless.
Stuff missing here....will be added RSN
Apparently, it being autumn, my body is sympathising with the falling leaves and releases clouds of fluttering skin flakes. Recently, when I stepped out after a long drive, I left so many flakes behind that it looked as if I had messily eaten a croissant in the car.
I haven't tried any new cure tactics recently, being busy with other important matters, such as starting up my own company, which is slowly gaining momentum. So I'm busy with all kinds of stuff, but reasonably happy, at least if you leave the pso out of consideration, which I'm doing quite succesfully at the moment. I'm going to do a bathing cure next, using oils instead of salts. I need to find some peace of mind to start with this, give me two weeks and I'll go on a bathing frenzy.
...Of course, this is a reversal of causality. I should be investing more time on my inner peace, especially when I'm busy like this. The things that give you joy are always the first casualties when you enter the stress zone. On the other hand, I experience this startup stress as pleasurable, it's been a long time since I was as motivated as this. I'll persevere and see what happens.
A final thought: Pilates is beyond any doubt the very best exercises that exist for your abdominals. The exercises are tough but you get positive results in return. I can't recommend it enough at the moment.
Ok, we survived my brother's wedding, things at home are going much better on many fronts. My pinky is healing nicely (number one son has actually apologised, six weeks after the event), the little finger is still stiff and swollen but that is due to the connective tissue and the fluid in the top joint. Both those things are expected to disappear in due time. Perhaps I might be able to pick up my guitar again! That really had me worried, now it appears to be just an exercise in patience, a question of waiting a couple of months. Touch typing is not a problem any more.
The other great, stress-reducing news is that I'm my last work assignment! This was the job that sucked, never before had I gone to work with such extreme apprehension, and this was really influencing my mood. Thankfully, I managed to bring up enough courage to bring this up with my boss, eventually this had results. I can now sit 'on the bench' for a while (Dutch contractor-speak for being between assignments), and in fact have enough time to study for my next certification exam.
In the meantime, I have taken up sporting again, especially jogging, yoga and dancing (that's a sport, isnt it?). Last week I discovered Pilatus, really the best abs-exercises you can imagine. After the salt baths I took up Dovobet again, which seems to have effect. I'm in a bad cycle again, unfortunately, looking back at the pictures of a week ago I can that it was much better then. Bummer.... I haven't taken oil baths yet as I intended, but I'll get around to that.
The scratching is bad at the moment, I'm removing big scabs from everywhere, especially from the scap (you can't see it very well on the pictures, but my skin is totally covered with pso). I should be visitng the doctor again, but really I believe I'm just fooling myself as long as I persist in excessively consuming coffee and cigarettes. That's the next thing I should tackle.
I haven't told you or anybody else about my sinister hobby. I collect as many pso flakes as I can and put them in jars. I've been this for a year or so, with the intention of doing something wierd with them. How about parchment made of my own skin for writing out my will? My girlfriend has of course declared me insane, so I hid the jars (two filled to the brim till now) safely from her view.
Let's quickly add this series before we're gone. We'll be going to my brother's wedding in Italy.
A reader of this page directed me this psoriasis forum, where it is assured that I will not get censored for posting links. And guess what, it's true! I've barely started participating but I feel at home already. One of my first revelations there was that unprepared salt baths are not a good idea for combatting psoriasis. I could have thought of that myself, but wishful thinking guided me into a state where I was willing to believe that the whitening of the spots and the scab forming were indications that the spots were on the way out. OK, forget it, it ain't gonna happen like this, so bye-bye Salyze, hello oil-baths, as a forum visitor (by incredible coincidence the same person who recommended the forum) proposed. The oil-bath experiment will commence after I have managed to survive my brother's wedding.
For the most part, I'm ok. Work sucks, still smoke and coffee, but the alcohol is definitely out and I sleep a whole lot better. I've felt worse than this, actually I'm quite satisfied now that my pinky is out of its cast. Still stiff and thick, needs a lot of exercise, but alive and kicking! I'll stick with 7-fingered typing for the time being to give the poor little appendage a rest while recuperating.
A new experiment: I'm using Salyze products, notable their mineral salt bath and the mineral spray. The first I used twice, but i't damn expensive at 23 euro per bath. So I reverted to sea-salt, increasing the dosage to 2 kg per bath, I really don't notice much difference with the expensive stuff. The mineral spray I use daily, it burns in wounds (gotten by scratching the pso spots, for instance), but I consider that a good sign; there is an active component present in the spray.
And, indeed, there appears to be some positive effect, the pso spots are improving. Too bad I didn't take pictures earlier, because subsequently the spots became much worse.
This is due to loads of stress at home, besides the fight that I had with my eldest, of which the after effects linger on, I'm in a heated conflict with my partner. Too much stress, and stress is not good for pso, as I know full well. Due to the tension I picked up all the bad habits I forbade myself: excessive smoking, drinking alcohol, not sleeping (mostly involuntary), and overdosing on coffee. In the meantime I still eat properly and I jog a lot, really a lot. I acknowledge that the jog is a form of escapism from the home situation.
Thus my pso got a lot worse, Spots have reappeared on my scalp and the spots on my elbows and knees look horrid at the moment. Only part that got better are my buttocks. The link with stress and the induced behavious (smoke drink no sleep) is totally obvious as far as I'm concerned.
But I feel a lot better now, thank you for asking. Looking at the bright side, I now have a starting situation for researching what elements have the most impact on pso. I considered a scientific approach, eliminating one influence at a time, but that is not going to work, since all the things are related. I can't just ingore of stress while continuing my disgusting smokedrinknosleepcoffee behaviour.
Better to work at improving myself, so I contacted a new personal coach, this time a calm, kind, patient coach with a psychology background. This is not to say that my previous enthousiastic, passionate, confronting, entrepreneurial, legally oriented coach is unworthy, quite the contrary, my appreciation for her knows no bounds. It's just that I think the traits of the new coach are more appropriate for me at this moment. We'll see how it works out.
This was meant as an after-vacation snapshot of the pso-development. Just before the series however we had an extreme quarrel in which I broke my left pink. If you want to feel loads of negatuve stress, then family quarrels are a great way of getting it. I felt sorry quite soon thereafter and vowed never to let this happen again. I spent the rest of the day scratching my spots like crazy, and smoked way too much of course. Unfortunately, it has happened and I can't change that any more, I will have to live with it.
Have I mentioned before that my toenails are becoming progressively more horrible? They are growingbumpy and irregular, and are covered by a grainy film. Assuming this is pso (likely) and starting a new series. The wierd thing is that my heel is more or less healed :-). So my premise that my sandals contributed to the pso is likely wrong, since I wore them during most of the vacation.
Took some shots during our vacation in France. Lots of sun should be good for ridding the pso but almost all spots appear to be getting worse, turning white as if they're drying out. Is this good or bad? Anyway, I did a lot of jogging (steep hillsides!) an other exercizes (mainly yoga). I haven't checked yet if I lost weight but I feel good. Of course I continued smoking, gimme a break, it's vacation.Worst of all, the spots on my dick are back. I hate this most of all, but I do my best to not pay attention to them.
How about this theory: a friend of mine who is allergic to lots of stuff also develops rashes if he doesn't eat properly. According to him there are toxic substances stored in fat which are released when you burn it. Could something similar be happening with my pso? I'm burning fat like crazy, theoretically at least. Jus a thought.
Started a new job, it sucks. The effect on the pso is noticeable. After a brief culture shock I resolved to get out of this work as soon as possible. If my superiors won't cooperate, I will quit. The only thing I will miss are the lunchtime jogging sessions.
How stupid, I lost at least one sequence of pictures of the last weeks. It's my own fault, that'll teach me not to procrastinate. I lost some continuity here, and I apologize to the regular visitors (to whom I express gratitude!).
But I am happy with the progress, the pso generally appears to be getting better....well at least, until the summer weather set in. I am scratching all over the place and often enough I draw blood. And while most pso crusts appear to be lessening, I am convinced that in some places it is getting worse again, on my head for example.
At least I'm not limping any more, the spots on the soles of my feet are thinner. The dermatologist was quite happy with my progress, I didn't need to make a follow-up appointment. As for stress prevention, I'm really busy at the moment (my startup, a dance performance in which I'm participating), so hello stress and goodbye normal sleeping times. It will work out eventually, at least I manage to keep up my yoga exercizes and the meditation session. It does balance the other activities somewhat.
Some spots are getting worse. I can think of several reasons:
- I've been a bit lazy in applying me creams, since the spots appeared to be getting better. Apparently it is necessary to keep on smearing a bit longer than I thought.
- We had a couple of in-house quarrels this week, which brought along some stress. It is totally obvious to me that, at least in my case, stress is an important cause of psoriasis.
- I've been sitting in the sun a lot and I probably got a bit browner, but the flakes on the psoriasis spots remain white so they stand out.
Another link made with footwear: I wore sandals once this week and afterwards I couln't walk from the pain. The skin of my feet was broken in several places. So sandals are out as well; I either wear leather shoes or walk around barefoot. The same trend applies to my clothing in general: either well-dressed to the point of being overdressed, or wearing as little as possible. When the weather is as sunny as this week, I want to pick up as much sun as I can.During my last dance lesson I wore a tank-top, being in a 'couldn't care less' state of mind. A fellow pupil made a funny remark about the spots on my arm, asking if I had a motorbike accident or something. I couldn't help laughing, you won't catch me anywhere near a motorcycle, let alone having an accident on one. I patiently explained about psoriasis, I find it interesting to note that when you are open about psoriasis, people react to it in an open and casual way. Started with the translation of this site to English; it is a work in progress.
Missed a week of taking pictures but better late than never. Visited the dermatologist yesterday, unfortunately my previous trusted doctor has chosen to work elsewhere. Unfortunate, because I really liked her; but the new doctor is just as nice so I'm nitpicking. In any case, the pso has improved markedly since I called for an appointment last month. The doctor didn't find it necessary apply me for light therapy, the coverage of pso spots on my body is not extensive enough to justify that. Which in a sense is a very positive remark! I get a new supply of Dobovet and some new stuff for the soles of my feet, a cream called Dermovate. I can ignore all printed recommendations about applying this cream thinly, it doesn't matter much on the thick horny layers on my soles.
I note with great pleasure while updating the picture series that many spots have improved greatly. Apparently, I am doing something right, excepting the application of my creams. I personally believe it is the combatting of stress, which I am permanently banning out of my life. Long live Zen! And long live my coach who is teaching me to enjoy life once again.
Left the pso-forum for good last week. I've been censured for the umpteenth time with respect to posting a link to this site. When I remarked on that in the forum, that message got censured as well. And when I mailed about that to the institute managing the forum I recieved an unhelpful reply indicating that I will not receive any support on the matter. So to hell with them, I'll find a forum elsewhere. I'm considering translating the page to English and posting to an international psoriasis forum. We'll see.
I passed my exam with easy, and I managed to keep hold of that exuberant feeling. I'm doing lots of physical exercise, which I've been neglecting for some time now. At the moment, I'm coughing and sneezing all over the place, I think it's the kickback form the exam stress. I regard it as a signal to be more gentle with myself. At the time of writing, the snot and slime generating is subduing.
Still faithfully applying Dobovet and Topicorte. I added a new tactic to my anti-pso arsenal: salt baths. Why travel all the way to the Dead Sea when you can by a kilo of seasalt in the local supermarket for next to nothing? I take regular salt baths now with a pound of salt dissolved in it, and relax in the water with a good book. I don't know who gave me the idea but it's one worth trying out.
I stopped keeping track of my eating habit, I came to the conclusion that my food intake doesn't matter much. I do however see a relationship with sleep or my lack of it. So here comes my new resolution: don't worry about anything (zen works great for this) and go to bed early, I mean real early. This means I have a good excuse to ignore all self-imposed deadlines and just be happy with what I achieve on a given day. Very zen! I can't say if it helps counter the psoriasis, but it does wonders for my state of mind.
But in fact my spots appear to be getting better. My head is as healed as it ever will be, same goes for my breast. Legs and buttocks are looking better all the time, the spots are getting lighter and there is much less crust on them. On the other hand, the spots on my hands are becoming more and more visible; this is possible due to my hands getting browner.
The bad news is that my feet are now afflicted as well. I knew the top of my feet had some spots, now in a very short time my soles (of all places) and heels are hit as well. It surprises me how fast that happened. For this reason I'm starting a new series of my left heel.
On the other hand, I really don't intend to worry about it. Yes, it looks ugly, but it's easy for me to view it in a relative way: what would I rather have, psoriasis under my feet where it doesn't bother me too much (I love walking around barefoot, so you can't even see it through the grime I collect), or psoriasis crusts on my penis? I've experienced the latter, and the former is infinitely more preferable.
I might be more relaxed about pso, but not about other things. Thursday I gave a presentation about my passion, dancing, into which I put a lot of effort. But at least that was fun. Next Monday I will do an exam for my Java Certification, for which I haven't done enough in my opinion. So in the weekend I studied like crazy into the deep of night and threw all my resolutions about diet and health temporarily overboard. This exam has priority at the moment. I wonder what this reckless behaviour will do to my pso. In any case my body revenged with a thudding, piercing headache.
Added a new series for the hands, the spot there are slowly getting worse. I made a spontaneous decision to go to the dermatologist, why do I wait ages for decisions like these? Earliest possible appointment is may 14, so also visited the family doctor, and got fresh supplies of the usual Topicorte ad Dobovet. I shall apply these faithfully.
Easter family reunion in Rome, my mom is undescribably anxious about my pso and bombards me systematically with advice. I apply my naturals noise filter on the incoming barrage for the stuff that sounds actually useful. Rosemary thee for relaxing? Why not. I'll try that.
Had terrible anxiety about my psoriasis this period, somehow it got to me. I'm scratching uncontrollably all over the place and I'm making a mess of my skin......till I had an illuminating conversation on wednesday with someone whose insight I value greatly. I decided on the spot that I will not worry about psoriaris any longer. Just keep cool about it....
Had a convincing bout of flu this week, probably the cause of the worsening of the pso. At least, I tend to see a relation. My buttocks are worst off, a furtive glance on my behind make me cringe. I started a new backside-serie which I will not put on the site in fear of pornographic allegations (not that I see a connection, but those kind of people exist).
I do see a connection between the worsening of my buttocks and legs with the clothes I wear; I wore a new jeans most of this week which feels kind of coarse, I can readily imagine they are sandpapering open my skin. Henceworth the resolution to wear soft fabric only. By sheer coincidence, I have a load of trousers in the wardrobe which I rarely wear on account of the fact that I look took classy in them, make me feel overdressed.....wardrobe change NOW. Classy trousers need classy shirts and classy shoes, say hello to my new look. And so the pso slowly affects all aspects of my life. I'm not complaining by the way, I look like a total scumbag most of the time so this change is welcome.
Started a rigorous, methodical approach this week: I record on an hourly basis everything I consume. In addition, I note the progress of my pso and any notable stuff related to it. I hope to discover a clear relation. Added a number of new photo series due to the worseing of my spots.
I'm worse off now than when I started with the picture sequences. Without exception, all pso spots are active again, including my breast, belly button and genitals (no, I'm really not going to put those on my website!). Many new spots have also appeared, on my arms, face (thank God they're small and don't stand out), and my hands. The latter really saddens me. Hands have been added as a sequence and will be put on the page when the pso is discernible on the pictures.
An old friend/colleague showed up unexpectedly, which was a very welcome distraction. We met in an Irish pub and chatted in a nicely associative fashion. I rarely drink alcohol but I indulged myself this evening. Let's see if there are any consequences.
This last week at work was exceptionally stressful, I am now experiencing the consequenties. The itch is killing me. In addition, I'm out of Dobovet, I am going to try doing without it for a while. The probable cause for the itching is coffee (I think) and not enough sleep, therefore I'm switching to green tea and will make a point of going to bed early. If that results to nothing, I will be more than happy to give up smoking.
But really, it's going all wrong at the moment. My head is covered in scales, especially on the left side. Worse, I suddenly have scores of spots on my legs. It could be due to the facts I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but the new jeans (black, coarse material) I have been wearing the past week could also be the culprit. I hereby resolve to only wear soft materials from now on, cotton for example.
Started a new serie of my right thigh, which has gotten progressively worse.
I might as well admit it, I'm smoking again, drink lots more coffee en go to bed way too late. For the time being, I will regard this as an experiment to see if it makes a difference with regard to my diet. The itching is worse but the crust production appears to have lessened. Had pork tenderloin when dining over at friends.
The psoriasis on my skull is going all wrong. I just can't stop scratching, and now I have a nasty inflamed bump on the left side, just like the subcutaneous infection of a while back. Lots of little red spots have appeared all over my body. At times, I'm itching to death, but despite that I feel fine generally. I was caught smoking again, but please believe me, my average is currently just one smoke per day.
Pageloads of the pictures was taking way too long, so I moved all series to separate pages.
I'm now using Dobovet daily for the right side of my body as well.
We had a childrens' birthday party last Friday, so I didn't really pay attention to what I consumed. I participated with the fries and overdosed on coffee in the scanty moments when we could actually sit. Revenge was upon me that evening, the itch was murderous. I hereby close the era of french fries consumption, coffee shall upon be drunken sparingly.
The Dobovet side appears much better than the other one. I take my previous prejudiced remarks back with respect to Dobovet. In addition, coffee and nicotine intake is slowly but surely increasing, time to treat myself to harsher disciplice. Or find an alternative pastime.
Had a furtive smoke this week. If I didn't get caught, you wouldn't have heard anything about it.
Party. I really had myself under control with the beer and the food.
Dined over at friends, I just ate what was served without any worries.
Started again with Denorex. In the meantime, I a performing an experiment with Dobovet. I use it exclusively on the left half of my body. In this way I can compare with the untreated right side to see if there is progress.